kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
