So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
