Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
