i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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