Just mADE A PArabola og urine
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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