Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
