i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
