how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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