What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
