i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Bring me that man meat
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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