mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Farmville is her only friend.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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