She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Randomize
