Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
