No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
