I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
