They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
