I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
