I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
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