Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
