no, he came in my armpit
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
