It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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