these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
