Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
