You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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