dude i'm inner monologue high
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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