My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
