I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
