OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
