I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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