@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
