oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
This house was built for laser tag.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
