I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
