My hair reeks of homosexuality.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
