i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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