and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
