Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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