you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
