...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
