i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
