I want to stick my p in your. b.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Come on in and take your pants off
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