dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
