real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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