First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
