I'm so fucking centered right now
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Girls should come with a carfax report
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
