By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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