I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
