If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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