Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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