"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
