yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
