Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
40s are totally the cure
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
