is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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